


Lily's Amortentia

by SmutWithPlot



Series: Lily's Amortentia [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 01:50:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/656722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmutWithPlot/pseuds/SmutWithPlot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amortentia. One of the most powerful love potions in existence, it is know for its mother of pearl sheen and its unique scent - unique in the fact that it varies from person to person. SS/LP</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Engraved Invitation

" _Stir clockwise twice, countered once_ ," Lily muttered, following the tricky potion's recipe. Behind her, a light bell rang, signaling the entry of a customer.

"Oh, bugger. _I'm in the back! I'll be right with you!_ " she called out, continuing to stir the cauldron.

_Add powdered unicorn horn. Sprinkle evenly for best effect._

As she added the flowery white substance, the door to her brewery opened to reveal a face she hadn't seen in quite a while – and for good reason.

"Severus Snape", she said with a curious, albeit acidic smile. "What a pleasant surprise." She waited until he was on the other side of the cauldron so she could keep an eye on him before she glanced back down at the recipe.

 _"Stir counter-clockwise twice._ "

Lily looked up with a start to find him watching her over the simmering cauldron.

"Do you memorise all of your notes?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips.

"No, I just know this one rather well."

She raised an eyebrow as she stirred the potion. "Even though you never 'got all the kinks out,' as you so put it once? Or is it 'because'?" The potion took on a mother of pearl sheen and Severus glowered lightly at her.

"That's a pretty big batch," he said instead, and Lily shrugged off the compliment as she turned off the fire. She leaned over the potion's surface and he joined her, his face not far from her own as they each tested the potion for its signature scent. Her eyes closed, Lily inhaled the familiar scent of greasy hair, musk, and fresh grass. She was lost in the potion for a moment before her companion cleared his throat. Her eyes flew open and she found herself staring into the playfully suspicious and wary eyes of Severus Snape. She blushed lightly and stood up, her lips pursed, but he took another whiff before standing as well.

"That's good stuff."

She smirked – something she had picked up from him, not that she admitted it much. "My Amortentia is my specialty." She stepped away from the cauldron and picked up a case that, when opened, contained a dozen small, glass vials, and dropped them delicately on the rim of the cauldron. One by one, she filled each with the potent love potion and capped them.

"It is a good seller, then?" Severus asked quietly, still watching her.

"Very," she replied with a mischievous grin. "You'd be surprised how many marriages depend on this stuff." Lily winked mischievously. He nodded quietly, and she dropped the tender subject. In silence, he watched her fill the small capsules with the same accuracy he and all other master potion-makers seem to naturally have. It was easier to say nothing than to breach the topic on his mind.

"Do you have something you wish to add?" she teased.

The smirk he gave her was best interpreted as a devilish grin.

"Nah, I wouldn't want to spoil a great batch of Amortentia just to satisfy my... hazardous curiousities." A couple bad events crept into his mind. "And besides, I wouldn't want to get your pretty face all messed up. Someone might kill me."

She chuckled lightly, though her eyes were sad. It was hard to believe it had been so long since they'd been friends. But they'd chosen separate paths, it was understood. He'd not taken well to the separation, but he'd done a good job of staying out of her life – an unexpected blessing she was grateful. But the mention of a significant other reminded her of another man who had asked for a second chance. "Say, Severus, did you ever get a wedding invitation?"

"A what?" His sneer disappeared to an expression of simple and undeniable confusion.

"A wedding invitation," Lily repeated as she capped the bottle in hand and turned to her desk, rifling through some papers and sifting through a couple drawers, writing the lie out in her mind, until she produced a white card that was meant for the shopkeeper next door and with a little 'Aha!' handed it to him. "I'd asked James to pass them out a week and a half ago. I was wondering why I hadn't recieved an RSVP from you." She forced a kind smile. "Even if you couldn't go, you'd still respond."

Severus gave her a sneerish, sheepish grin as he opened the card. Inside, engraved in thin, golden letters were the words " _Mr. and Mrs. Adonijah Potter and Mr. and Mrs. Mark Evans invite you to join them in celebration of the bonding of their children, Lily Evans and James Potter, in holy matrimony, on Saturday, May the 27th._ "

"I'm sorry. James – bastard – must not have sent one to you on purpose," she added quickly. It was hard to lie to him, but the truth would hurt him so much more. Severus simply nodded, the ghost of a smile she'd expected sneaking on his face, looking back down at the paper.

Here it was, the tangible proof that confirmed his greatest fears. The rumours were true – Lily, his Lily – would be marrying James Potter, that arrogant glamour Wizard who'd given him a life debt. She'd even given him an engraved invitation to the horrendous event. Irony was a cruel mistress.

"So, you're actually going through with this?"

"Of course!" Lily replied almost too quickly. It was too reminiscent of the last parts of their friendship – the questioning. The accusations. She turned away from him, trying to hide her anger, wondering why she was humouring his presence, as he was already testing her kindness. She picked up the crate of potions and began to make her way past him. "Oh, you can follow me, I'm done here," she added, bitterness creeping into her voice as she turned to back through her swinging door. He followed her out and continued to read the card out loud, though it was only because he had to hear himself say it.

" _The vow will be performed by Albus Dumbledore_." That made him pause in curiousity. "You've asked Dumbledore to do it?"

"Yeah," she replied with a soft smile. Ah, that'd been a fun conversation. And so hard to explain to her parents. She tried not to think of Petunia's refusal to attend the 'freak show'. "James insisted. I don't know why he was so adamant about it, but... I didn't have a problem with it. I just didn't realise Dumbledore did weddings!" Lily gave a giggle as she sat her crate of potions on the shelf below the one labeled 'Amortentia'.

"Yes..." muttered he, still a little distracted by this turn out. "So, in a month and a half?"

She nodded and began putting the vials on the shelf among the other love potions. She did her best to focus on the task at hand, and not wandering about with everything else that was going horribly wrong. The Order. Her sister. The rumours about Snape's having turned to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. She told herself he wouldn't dare – _wouldn't dare_ – come to her shop if he'd truly taken on that mark. He wouldn't. That's what she told herself.

"Great," he replied, trying to keep the worry from his voice as he slipped the card in his pocket. How would explain the need for his absence? "Say, I'm going to need some Polyjuice Potion."

"No, you won't," she scolded lightly, offended. The hostility caught her by surprise.

"I'm not talking about your wedding, Lily."

"Oh..." She blushed, realising he was trying to be cordial about this – and "this" was actually business. Why was she taking it so personal? "Sorry. Do you want your recipe back?"

"No, it's not that I don't have the recipe anymore, I just don't have the time to brew it," he answered quickly. Damned 'work' kept him so busy. And he couldn't do it at the apothecary – his master would ask questions, questions he cuoldn't answer. "Polyjuice takes a while to mature, after all."

She nodded in agreement and held out the crate for assistance. He happily obliged. "Alright, but let's finish this first, okay?"

"Of course."

They worked in companionable silence, each secretly enjoying the forgotten pleasure of the other, and only touched when the door bell rang from the front door. For a moment, they stopped and looked to each other, unsure of what to do. She was the first to blush.

"Sorry," Lily muttered, and she leaned around her old confidante to see her customer. "Oh, good day, Mrs. Appleby! I'll be with you in just a moment, okay?"

"Oh, not a problem, dear," the old woman replied when she saw Severus, a sneaky smile on her face. "Do take your time."

Neither of them needed to be a Legillimens to catch the witch's insinuations. "I can finish this for you," he offered quickly.

"Thanks," she whispered, and handed him the already half-empty case and joined Mrs. Appleby by the Simple Ailments section.

"How can I help you today, Mrs. Appleby?" Severus heard Lily ask the elderly witch sweetly.

"Oh, not much, dearie, I was just wondering if you had a good stomachache potion, because Henry hasn't been feeling too good lately."

"Oh, yes, it's right..." Severus sneaked a peek over to find Lily stooped down and smirked as he turned back to his work. "Here."

"Oh, thank you, my dear."

"Yes, let me bottle this up for you." Severus watched Lily disappear into the back, a glass in his hand. He quietly placed it among the others, then picked up the last two vials and stocked them as well. Wondering to himself what to do next, he saw Lily come back and disappear again behind the shelf. He spun the empty crate in his long, nimble fingers as the customer paid for her goods and departed. As soon as the ringing of the bells ceased, Severus came out of his hiding space.

"All finished," he reported awkwardly, holding up the empty box for her to see.

She smiled sheepishly. "Thanks, Severus." A similar emotion tugged at his lips and he let himself sneak a lopsided grin as she scratched a note on what was doubtless her ledger. She was still so beautiful... She excused herself and replaced the potion on its shelf – again, Severus didn't miss the chance to steal a peek.

Obviously oblivious, she returned to him and took the crate, placing it under the counter on which she had the cash register situated and sat on her stool, arms resting on the tabletop, and smiled at him.

"So... what do you think?" Lily asked, lifting a hand to mean that she was referring to her humble shoppe. Severus looked around sincerely – not that he hadn't done so before. The first time he'd seen it, and the third and fifth, but seeing as he'd come in twice before during busy hours, without the nerve to reveal himself, she wouldn't know.

"A lot cheerier than most places, I'll give you that," he answered honestly. "And a lot more organised."

She laughed wryly. "Yeah, I try to keep it user friendly. But you know what they say about organisation..."

"...It's for people who aren't smart enough to find things for themselves." A proverb known to potion makers – everyone knows an apothecary is one of the most confusing places to shop in if you're unfamiliar with the craft. Most shoppes are organised by rarity and effect, rather than name or most common purpose.

She nodded. "Exactly."

"Well, you must get a lot of stupid people, then."

She giggled again, a wonderful, robust sound, and he gave an unashamed, yet sneerish smile. "Say, didn't you order some Polyjuice?" she asked, remembering his purpose, rising from her stool.

"Yes, I did."

"Anything in particular?"

"Not really. Just... raw Polyjuice."

She stepped around another shelf and gestured for Severus to follow her. He stood at the end of the aisle and he glanced down the row and found ads for... well, equipment improvement.

"Wow, Lily," he teased.

"Oh, shut up," she snapped back lightly, a blush blossoming on her cheeks. "Again, you'd be surprised how often this stuff is used."

He shook his head, enjoying the amount of red he was putting on her face without really trying. "Not really." He was a male potions maker, after all. He couldn't keep on two hands the number of times he'd had a buddy ask him for a favour along those lines. Or how many times he'd actually done the favour.

She held out a jar and placed it into his hands. There was contact again, and this time she let her hand linger for a moment. "Here. Last jar of raw Polyjuice." Then she drew back, smirking devilishly. "Lucky butt."

Severus smirked as he followed her back to the counter. "Are you sure you weren't just saving this just for me?"

She shook her head coyly as she scribbled out a receipt for him. "How could I do that? You think I'm a Seer or something?"

He smirked. "Maybe."

She gave him one, too. "Well, I'm not." She held it out to him. "That's ten galleons."

"Merlin, Lily, no personal discount?" he scoffed.

"That is the personal discount, and a bit more off because..." There was a slight pause, and he waited for her to say something, anything, that might reassure him that there was a chance. If there was... "...well, I'm indebted to you for all of your 'tweaked' potions recipes."

He fought back the disappointment that tugged his heart into his gut. "Indebted?" he asked, softly, trying to cover the hurt with coy. "I should have remembered that."

She rolled her eyes lightly, trying to tell herself she wasn't watching his heart break. "Look, I know you know how expensive Polyjuice is, and that's why you're here, because you know you won't get it this cheap elsewheres, so don't do that to me."

He smirked. It wasn't worth it to be upset now. There were hours late at night that were better served for that purpose. He was here, now. Best enjoy it while he could. "Yes, ma'am..." he started, remembering another thing that annoyed her.

"Oi! I'm not a ma'am yet!" she argued.

He chuckled darkly. It was so hard to stay upset with her. "You could've fooled me."

"Severus Snape, you knock it off, or I'll sic my dogs on you!"

Severus mock-gaped at her. "I'm offended."

"As you should be."

"Do Lupin and Black know you're threatening people with them?"

She glared at him, her temper getting the better of her. "You started it!"

"And you're continuing it!.Who's the better person?"

"Neither!"

"Are you or are you not engaged, young lady?"

"Yeah, so? That has nothing to do with this!"

He scoffed. "If I was your fiancé and I heard you say that, I will have you know that I would be very upset with you."

She groaned. "Severus, you dolt, stop picking on me!" she said. "You always bring out my worst." She thrust out her hand. "Ten galleons!"

He made a face that would've made a less-informed individual think he'd planned the argument to weasel out of paying and failed. Of course, they both knew better. It was the banter of their youth – a twisted flirtacious ritual that they had taken part in several times, and even the years and paths between them couldn't fight that. Finally, he gave a heavy sigh and pulled out his purse and counted the coins.

"Thank you." She dropped the gold into the register and closed it. After a moment, she also sealed the store with a spell. "Now, is that all?"

"Oh, getting rid of me now, are you?" Severus taunted as he put the jar and coin purse in his cloak.

She grinned. "No, you're not getting away from me that fast. Do you have any plans for the next... oh, hour or so?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought maybe we could... I don't know... go get a drink?"

"Leaky Cauldron?" he asked with a cringe. He wasn't good company, not in these days. And if anyone saw him with a... Well, it wouldn't end well for either of them.

She smiled softly. "No, but there's this little Muggle pub down the street. My treat?"

It would work. No one who would see them would know, or if they did, they'd be too ashamed to admit they were in Muggle London to share it. Although he'd already made up his mind, he made to ponder it deeply, stroking his goatee lightly with a finger in thought.

She held up her hands as if she were praying, knowing the score. "Pleeease?"

He fought very hard to keep a smile from shining on his face. _She is so cute_ , he thought to himself, a school boy again. He nodded in what seemed a reluctant way. "Fine."

"Yay! Let me go get my cloak and lock up..."

He let the smile shine when she dipped into the back and cherished it. And made a promise to himself that he would make the night a good one.


	2. Sealed With A Kiss

"See you next month, Mrs. Potter."

"Thank you! And Happy Christmas!" Lily called again as the boy left her shop, the bell tinkling softly as he opened the door to the wintry elements. She admired the package she'd just been given – twenty vials of pure lavender essence, a prime ingredient in her infamous Amortentia. She'd already ripped off the tape when a shadowy figure stepped lightly from behind a shelf. Lily looked up with surprise to find Severus Snape there, garbed in his usual thick, woolen cloak covered lightly with a powdery snow. He looked oddly out of place among her cheery holiday decorations; holly and tinsel adorned the shelves while a giant Father Christmas poster was pinned up behind him.

"Severus! Well, whatever brings you back to my humble shoppe?" Lily asked kindly, stepping out from behind the cashier bar.

"Well, you didn't honestly think I would neglect to bring you a Yuletide gift now that I know where to find you again, did you?" Severus took his hands from behind his back to reveal a present wrapped in a shiny, red paper with a handsome emerald bow on top.

"Oh, Sev," she said softly as she accepted the gift.

"'When green and red actually get along'," he said, gesturing to the wrapping.

She gave him an impressed grin. "I can't believe you remembered that." It was something she'd said long ago, when they were at Hogwarts. That their houses never got along was something that had constantly bothered her for some time. Back before she understood the need for the separation. Before they, too, had gone their separate ways. But he said nothing, and the only sound was the light whirring of the fat, red man behind him and the rustling of her unwrapping her gift. Beneath was a flower pot filled with soil, sealed with a clear wrapping. One sniff made her smile fondly.

"Mint?"

"Well, they won't grow until you open them, so you can always give them to someone else, if you want."

"Why would I do that?" she chastised softly. He could be so sensitive at times. "I'll be right back," Lily added, and she disappeared into her brewery.

While she was gone, Severus glanced around the shoppe. It was quite different from the last time he'd been there. The previously blank wall behind the counter had a calendar now, the picture one of a frozen lake in the middle of a wintry white wood with snow falling lightly around a sole couple, skating together on the ice's surface. _Just the sort of romantic, sentimental thing my Lily-Anne would like_ , he thought to himself. It also didn't move – a Muggle picture. He wondered how many customers decided not to return when they noticed that.

Beside the calendar was a poster advertising how to order more time-involved potions in advance and a list of competitor potion makers with empty slots that read 'Price', 'Quality', and 'Manners'. Severus smiled as he looked closer and noticed that Morticia Mayberry's 'Manners' slot had 'TERRIBLE!' scribbled in in hasty letters. He'd heard of these charts, entitled 'Getting the Best Price for Your Galleon?' They gave you comparisons to other competitors that good businesses could use to keep customers. He noticed with a grin that his own name wasn't on the list, and wondered what his 'scores' would be like when put up against Lily's creations.

Behind him, the On-Sale items – peppermint and holly scented candles, a potion for "keeping your evergreen forever green!", empty bottles and vials with holiday-themed decorations – were displayed as gifts from a jolly, red-faced Father Christmas. He nearly jumped when the display cried, "Ho ho ho!" in an overly cheery manner.

Severus glared at the cardboard face, but it only winked at him in return.

"Sorry about that. He's a right old sod, but he amuses the kids when they come in with their parents."

Severus turned back to Lily as she placed his gift – now full of mint leaves and adorned with red tinsel – on the counter beside her "Comments" box, another new addition. She grinned up at him as she took her seat behind the register.

"And thanks for the chocolate," she added, as she waved the peppermint bark that had been buried with the plant, charmed to pop out as the leaves did. "Did I ever tell you I _adore_ peppermint bark?"

"Only about seven hundred times," he answered dryly. Like, every single Hogsmeade trip. Or if Honeydukes were mentioned. Or chocolate. Or peppermint. Or Christmas. Or winter in general, really...

She grinned and started to unwrap her present. "So, what's up with you?"

He shrugged. "I'm a bachelor and I have no life. Need I say more?"

She laughed lightly, and for a little while, they could forget there was a war going on outside – one they'd been fighting for years, and some of it, on opposite sides. "You probably need this chocolate more than I do. Piece?" She held out a piece of the treat and he took it.

"Thanks." He nibbled it gently. "So, how about you?"

She shrugged. "Can't complain. Well, I could, but I'm sure you don't want to hear of a married woman's woes, eh?"

"As attractive as the idea may sound, I'm sure I don't want to hear about Potter's underwear, no."

She giggled. She placed the half-eaten candy bar to the side and placed a hand on the box on the counter, which Severus had been eyeing curiously. "Would you like to help me stock this?"

He shrugged. "I've got no plans for the immediate future."

She beamed. "Great. I just got this _huge_ order of lavender essence." She jumped down from her stool and grabbed the box carefully as she made her way out from behind the counter, spinning around to avoid hitting Severus, who watched, a little confused, as she made her way to the Love Potions section.

Severus let out a whistle as she opened the package, and knelt down with her. "You think you've got enough there?" he snarked.

She smirked. "I got this for two sickles a bottle."

Severus widened his eyes. "Wow. That's, like... dirt-cheap. Is it any good?"

"Oh, yeah... only the best. I did do more than steal your potions recipes, you know..."

He gave her a smirk and they began to shelve the small vials.

"So, how _is_ that husband of yours?" he drawled.

Lily shrugged. "What's to say? We have our spats here and there, but we survive."

He gave a sneerish grin. "If they're anything like those spats you two had at Hogwarts, you must have one hell of a sex life."

Blushing bright red, Lily gave him a glare. "Well, I'm afraid I'm more of a fighter, to be honest."

Severus chuckled at the confession, but his expression softened. "Even still, he's lucky to have you."

She gave him a curious smile. "Thanks, Sev. That's really sweet."

"I mean it," he answered, looking into her eyes with sincerity, something he hadn't had the chance to do in a long time. "You're very precious to me, and he's very fortunate to have you. Arguing is fine, but you're supposed to make-up afterwards by using that fire for something more... _productive_." He ended with a curl of his lips. Lily face went as red as her hair.

"Can you promise me to work on being at least as good a lover as a fighter?" Severus prodded, teasing now. "I can't say I shan't be jealous, but you deserve a good marriage, after all."

Lily grinned evilly. "Even if it's Potter?"

" _Especially_ Potter. You're going to need to distract yourself _and_ him from his pomposity."

Lily laughed. "You still use the word 'pomposity'?" she asked, beaming.

"But of course!" Severus answered arrogantly. "I'm not going to take Black's word for it being incorrect. Hell, even if it's not listed in any dictionary. Etymologically speaking, it's a sound word. Not to mention it's very amusing to say," he added with a wink.

Lily only rolled her eyes and continued shelving. "Oh, Severus..."

Once again, they fell into a quiet routine. He picked from his side, and she from hers. He managed to avoid touching her this time, and let her put away the last vial. Last time... had been wonderful. But she was a married woman, now, and he couldn't fight the Unbreakable Vow she'd bound herself with. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair. He wasn't going to do anything untoward, he told himself. Just... visiting a friend for the holidays. She thanked him, and they stood.

Severus took the box with him. "I suppose this will need disposal?" he asked. Least he could do was make himself useful.

Lily nodded. And she smiled. "I do like these visits of yours," she said. And her eyes went sad. "Even if it's the only time I see you."

Severus looked down at the box. "I... do want to apologise about the wedding." He couldn't bring himself to go. He'd been so close... but he couldn't. He'd made it to Hogsmeade, but that was it. Hiding in the Boar's Head, drowning in glass after glass of wine. But it didn't give him courage. He waited out the three hours, and slipped home to mourn the loss of his love in private.

"I didn't honestly expect you to come."

He looked up at her in surprise. Her face was hard, but accepting. It reminded him far too much of their... last day as friends. A lump grew in his throat, and he couldn't quite dislodge it. He looked down at the box once more.

"I... I don't want to be a bother," he said quickly. "You... have your own life. You don't need me coming to ruin things for you."

She sighed. "Sev..."

And then she stopped. Curious, he looked up at her. A smile was tugging at her lips, and he followed her eyes.

Above them hung a batch of mistletoe.

He closed his eyes, pursing his lips. Could the moment get any more awkward?

"Bloody hell..."

"No, no..." she corrected, looking up at it with amusement. "It's quite alright. I _am_ the one who put it there." He watched her give him a wink as she shook her hips temptingly. _Very_ temptingly. "I mean, it _is_ the love potions section, after all."

He had the scarcest thought that perhaps she'd... plotted that out. Possible. He wouldn't have put it past her. It'd surprise him, but only a little.

"I suppose that means that... I have to kiss you now," he said softly, trying to sound dramatically world-weary. It wasn't too hard – he already felt he'd compromised her virtue too much for a lifetime. Last time... had been too much kindness from her. He'd taken it gladly, but he oughtn't have.

"I suppose so," she replied. There was a glimmer in her eyes, and she took a step forward.

It was a bit terrifying, having her in this space with him. It was disturbing. He felt like he was cheating, like he was stealing something. Something he'd lost rights to a long time ago.

And yet... He was selfish. And a little desperate.

He closed the space, his mouth coming open, tentative, and her soft lips met his.

It was sweet. Sweeter than he'd remembered. Or perhaps it was nostalgia. She tasted of peppermint bark – chocolate and mint, and he was certain he did, too. It was lovely, and he did his best to capture the taste of it in his mind for the lonely nights that would follow...

He scarcely heard the box fall at his feet. Her hands were on him, touching his cloak, and his fingers dared to touch her. Her arms, first, and she gave a little sigh and melted into the kiss, leaning herself against him.

The sound was intoxicating. His fingers trailed up, his head turning slightly – he debated tongue, but she sighed into him again, and decided to try.

A testing offer. His tongue was met with hers, and she traced his lower lip.

_It was heart-wrenching._

He couldn't help but think of her husband, whom she'd doubtless learned that delightfully nasty little trick for, and then the look of righteous fury on his face if he could see them now. Snivellus, making out with his wife. But it didn't deter him – in fact, it made him smile, made him pleased, amused him darkly in a way that made him want to make the most of it, just so he could shove it in his face later.

He invaded her with that tongue, and she let out a soft murmur. _Yes, let's see Potter try this, he thought_. Oh, he could see the look on his face now, it was delicious, delicious victory –

" _Sev_..."

His heart caught. His breath stopped. Even his lips paused. Hers were soft, and kissed him again, and he didn't respond for a scarcest moment.

What was he doing? Thinking about Potter? Of all the blessings he'd been given in life, this moment was surely one of them. And he was thinking of Potter? The man who'd won?

Severus Snape, you have failed. You've lost the woman you truly loved, and even when you're given the chance to make up for it, your pride stands in your way.

He wrenched himself away from her. He didn't deserve this. He'd pushed it away so many times, he held no rights to it. It was his punishment. This is what he'd done to _himself_. It wasn't right to take advantage of his oldest, dearest friend. His first, and only love...

"I..." He bowed his head, forcing his hands to stay where they were. "I'm sorry, Lily. I've..."

But she silenced him with a kiss. He looked to her eyes, which were closed. It... it didn't make sense. She should hate him. He'd thought she _did_ hate him. It would have made more sense if she did.

Her brilliant green, almond shaped eyes looked up at him. She broke the kiss with a smirk.

"Damnit, Sev, it's _my_ mistletoe. I get a snog," she said, a sharp tone of voice that she would surely use on her children in years to come. She leaned up to kiss him again, and he obeyed.

She tasted so sweet. Her lips were soft, but sure. Not demanding, or needy, but knowing what they wanted. And for some inexplicable reason, they wanted him.

Really, why? It didn't make sense.

But why question? I mean, really? What nice things did he have left in life? This quaint little shop wouldn't last very long. Not with the war the way it was. Especially not if she had Muggle paintings behind her counter. Many would avoid her for attracting trouble, and eventually trouble would find her.

How much longer did either of them have?

He returned her kiss, and wondered how far he dared to follow this selfish moment of hers. What was it about him that let her forget the fact that she had a husband at home? That they were from the opposite sides of the tracks? Both growing up in a Muggle neighborhood, so far away from here, and even at Hogwarts. She at the top of Gryffindor tower, and he in the dungeons of Slytherin. Now, they were still opposites. Red, and green. She fought for the Order. She must. He knew she must. There was no way she didn't, it was well known that Potter and his friends were. She had to be. And he...

He had that accursed thing on his arm.

It was so many kinds of wrong. But if she would give him a chance... even for an afternoon...

She had last time. Maybe she secretly wanted him, even still. After all these years. She was too patient, too kind. He could use that to his advantage...

It was getting heady, and all he could think of was her, and how delightfully demented she was to do this to him, with him, for him, and how wonderful it was. He found his fingers going under her shirt, and his cloak was hanging off his shoulders when something happened.

The tinkling of a small bell.

The pair of them froze. Well, Severus froze. Lily rubbed her nose against his, and blessed him with a last kiss. He watched her go, wiping her mouth on a sleeve, while her shirt fell like it ought to have.

He felt his legs threaten to buckle as she greeted the customer. They didn't need help, but she voiced her presence, if they had questions. Severus readjusted his robes, regretfully wiping his own mouth, wondering at what wonderful chaos Lily Anne Marie Evans – no, Potter – was. How she still managed to drive him crazy, even though there was no reason for her to look at him with anything more than absolute loathing. All the reasons she should hate him on her husband's behalf.

He wondered, then, if she'd ever found out about Remus.

It was such a random thought, but... He peered around the shelf, where she had taken her post at the counter again. She looked over at him, and caught his eye, but then looked away.

Severus cleared his throat. It... it might make sense. That... that she _would_ know...

That she _would_ know. That Potter saved his life. Because of Black. And Lupin. And what he was.

Suddenly, his mind was full of loathing. How dare he tell her? No... he _would_. She was his wife. And as his oldest friend, she would have to understand why they hated each other so. Besides the obvious. _Doubtless_ she would know.

 _The bitch pities me_ , he realised, snarling. He couldn't... Well, he _could_ believe it. He could believe it very well. She had a fondness for compassion. Which is what pity was – compassion. But... he didn't want her pity.

_He wanted her love._

But he couldn't very well have that, now, could he? Of course not. That was Potter's, now. That was why she had taken on his name, after all.

 _And she had the nerve to do that to him..._ The whore was two-timing him! Going home to her happy husband, but playing bitter wife for his benefit. Bloody mudblooded –

And he caught himself.

...This. This is why. This is why you can't have her.

He looked down at the box, which had held the lavender a short time ago. He picked it up, imagining he could smell the flowers. He glanced back to the end of the aisle, but ducked out the other way. He slipped out the door, and didn't look back at her.

She wasn't his. Would never be. And she was much safer that way. But she surely didn't quite understand that yet. But she would. In time.

Lily heard the bell, but he was gone so fast... She couldn't call after him.

 _Severus..._ She bit her lip. She was reckless, it was true. But, that was a Gryffindor fault, right?

And his... his was pride.

_He's so sensitive._

She wondered what it was he was thinking of as he left, without giving her a chance to say goodbye. To explain. To... finish? Something. Watching Severus Snape run off on his own was a terrifying thing. You never knew what it was he was planning on doing.

She looked to the mint, and touched it. He did love her, that was for sure. Demented and mad as he was... he really adored her.

And that kind of love... had its own power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you lot get pissy... I remind you, Snape is not a very nice person. Tragic, yes, but as Jo says, the thought of Snape being in love with you would be terrifying. Have you ever had a stalker? It's... it's not terribly healthy. He has quite a temper, and I was a bit pleased at how well that quick debate about Lupin came out. Lily... I think Lily's a little reckless. Perhaps she's a bit curious about him, too. I mean, you Snape girls can appreciate that, right? She has some feelings for him. She can't do much on them, but... If you catch her on a good, daring day... I dunno. I think Snape is a special case, at any rate, and I am curious what happens when he gets what he wants. And Lily – in my books, anyway – is just daring enough to test her limits. I'd written somewhere else where she was joking that she dated James because James was nice enough (read: not too selfish) so that she could run off with Remus, who was the one she really wanted; because Lupin has commitment issues, and James has generations of gold stocked up. It was a joke, but I definitely see her as the 'best mate's girl' who can hold her own in the crowd, and she's got to be fiesty to keep up with the Marauders!
> 
> Also: The 'pomposity' bit is an inside joke. Snape is a bit of a wordsmith (and spellcrafter, obviously), so I dropped it on him, but I have a habit of crafting words that, while holding integrity in concept, aren't practised, and Bre would huff at me about it. She writes James and Sirius, so I felt it a nice little drop.


	3. Expectations

It was hot outside. But cool inside. Lily Potter was sitting at her counter, feeling very much like a beached whale, and Remus Lupin was sweeping idly around the shelves. It wasn't clear who was watching out for who, but the small talk was tentatively friendly. So when Severus Snape entered the door, the bell ringing his entrance, the pair of them looked up, and were accordingly surprised to see him.

"Severus," she greeted. "I... I wasn't expecting to see you."

But Severus' eyes were fixed on the lycanthrope standing in the aisle, a broom in hand. There was a seething hatred that glowed in his dark, beady eyes, and Remus in return hid his face. He slipped into a side aisle, avoiding trouble, and kept up his sweeping.

"Severus," Lily called. The potions master's face snapped to her. She saw the stress visibly disappear. "What can I do for you today?"

"Err..." he quickly made his way to the counter, but stopped at the sight of her.

She was... well, quite frankly, she was huge.

He'd known she was well along. Hell, Narcissa was ready to pop. And the announcements hadn't been very far apart, but... Still...

There was a difference between knowing your hated enemy was shagging your lost love, and seeing her body swollen with his spawn.

But... she was so beautiful. The curve of the babe, clutched lovingly in her hands. Her face rosy and warm, blessed with motherhood.

"C-congratulations," he said, surprised the word came out.

She snorted. "Yeah, sure. I just want to be rid of the damned thing already." Her eye glanced over to where Lupin had disappeared, and then back to her 'customer'. She smirked at him. "How can I help you today?"

Oh, so much had changed. For one...

Severus glanced back at where the werewolf had gone, as well.

"Is there any way we can talk in private?" he whispered.

She rolled her eyes, but nodded to the back.

"I just left it to simmer..." she said to no one in particular, and led Severus through the swinging door.

It was cluttered with business – a number of potions were brewing everywhere, and the smell... Oh, there were smells of everything in here.

Severus had the thought that it wasn't right that a pregnant woman was working with fumes like these. And then, he reminded himself: this was Lily Evans we were talking about.

 _Potter_ , he corrected himself. Lily Potter. That was half the mess that had led him to return here.

"Look," he said quickly, "I'm sorry I keep bothering you like this. I don't want to be trouble, I really don't. I know you... you've got your own life, now." He couldn't help his eyes moving to the massive burden she'd brought on herself. "And I... I respect that. But..." He forced himself to say it. "But I need to talk to you about something. Something terribly important."

 _Some things never change_ , she thought wryly. But she reminded herself that his paranoia was occasionally right.

"What is it, Severus?" she asked kindly.

"I've been hearing..." he debated on how much to tell her. "...Rumours. And they're not very good."

Last times he'd come, they'd pretended there was no war. Hell, they'd pretended, just a little bit, that there was no ring on her finger. Why... she wasn't sure. Something about Severus did that to her. Even after all he'd done... She couldn't help but offer a little leeway to her oldest friend – the one who'd taught her that the world was full of magick. And power. And, of course, potion-making.

She tried not to show exactly how much that unnerved her. "What... kind of rumours?" Her hands immediately moved to her stomach.

He looked down at her blessed womb. Debating, and then...

"Can you keep a secret?"

She blinked.

"I mean, REALLY keep a secret. If I tell you this, you must tell _no one_. Lives are at stake."

She searched his eyes, but found only desperation. Severus Snape, who kept his cards to his chest. Who had eight kinds of sneers, but rarely a smile. He didn't wear his emotions on his sleeves, but here was, asking her for help.

"S-sure," she said, worried, unsure. "Sev, what is it?" He glanced back to the door. "Sev, what's happened? Are you in trouble?"

But he didn't answer. His eyes were sweeping the shop. On a cue she couldn't see, he locked the door, and cast a silencing charm over it.

"Severus..." Her voice was a warning, a question. "Sev, you're scaring me."

"Look, Lily, I'm really sorry, but I have to make sure we're alone," he said, turning back to her.

As he spoke, he was unbuttoning his sleeve. As he did, the white of his skin became visible. And then, he wrenched it back.

She couldn't even scream. Her breath just caught, and she backed against a wall.

"Lily, please," he pleaded. "You need to listen to me."

"You're one of them!" she managed, jabbing a finger at him. "You-you're coming to kill me!" She clutched her belly. "You're coming to kill my baby!"

The look of terror in her eyes broke his heart. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but now that she knew what he'd done...

"I'm not coming to kill you, Lily," he said softly. "I just need you to know... To know that I'm not fooling around, when I say that someone else _is_."

She looked up to his face, then, and saw it distorted with utmost sorrow. Snape... Severus Snape didn't cry. He felt little remorse, or pity. He had a one-track mind, and was selfish. He wanted only power...

And now he had it.

Lily tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She'd been right to cut it off with him. He'd become a Death Eater, like she'd thought. Like James and Sirius had thought. They'd been right. She'd allowed herself the delusion that it wasn't true, but now, she couldn't deny it. So many years of lies and cover-ups...

And he'd become one of _them_.

"Severus, how could you?" she whispered. "You... You're half-blood yourself."

He spat bitterly. "Yeah. And before you, the only Muggle I knew was my father." His eyes fell. "I'm sorry – I don't mean that. You're not a Muggle. You're a... wonderful, beautiful, talented witch."

Black eyes met green. "The most beautiful person I've ever known. Witch or not. And..."

He looked down at the scar on his arm. "And I'm doing my best to protect you."

Her mouth moved, but no words could come out. She wanted to say something, but... she could think of nothing to say.

"Lily, I've been working with the Order of the Phoenix," he said.

Her face flashed. "How do you...?"

"I'm working for Dumbledore," he clarified. "I promise, no matter what I may have done..." His face contorted once more, a horrifying expression that Lily was sure would haunt her dreams. As would that Mark. "I would kill myself before I hurt you. Or let anything happen to you."

Suddenly, the were ten again. His face fell in desperation, and fear. And they begged her for a listening ear.

And an open heart.

Lily wasn't sure if she could provide that. But she could listen.

"What... What are the rumours you've heard?" she whispered. She still couldn't believe it... He was one of _them_. How many of her friends had he killed? Or let be killed. And now, here he was, in her shop, coming to him with those child's eyes...

"That... someone is coming for you. And your boy," he said, nodding to her womb.

Her eyes widened. "How did you know that?" Call it maternal instinct, but that terrified her the most. "How did you know he was a boy? We haven't even told Remus or Sirius that, yet!"

They'd told people they had wanted it to be a surprise, but James confessed it was because he didn't want Sirius to be too upset when he found out the boy wasn't to be named after him, or he'd pester them about it for the entire pregnancy...

"The Dark Lord is looking for a child – a boy – as part of a prophecy," he said quietly.

"I haven't heard of this yet," she replied sharply. How could he know? Was he spying on them?

"It was just made weeks ago," Severus explained. " 'A boy will be born as the seventh month dies, and he will be born to parents who have thrice betrayed him'," he quoted, his voice weary. And then it rose, into a panick. "The seventh month, Lily! You and James fit the bill. There aren't many people who have stood up to the Dark Lord and lived to tell the tale."

"Yes, but Harry's not due until August-" she argued.

"Lil, that's close enough!" he cried, his hands begging. "Please! You know how inaccurate due dates are, come on!"

He let out a heavy sigh, and turned away from her, a hand trailing through his air. The other rested on a hip, and she found her eyes drawn to the accursed Mark on his arm.

If it was true... If Severus was telling the truth...

She looked out the door to where she knew Remus was sweeping. And then to Severus. A man who, back in Hogwarts, had seen before anyone else that his classmates – classmates that weren't even in his dorm, or _house_ – were out of bounds on school grounds. Had been the only one to see the truth.

And she'd rolled her eyes at him. Refused to listen to him. Even after he'd seen it, and wanted her safe, protected, and _knowing_ that there was a danger in the castle... Even after he'd nearly lost his life due to someone else's cruelty, he'd respected the Headmaster's request to not tell anyone about what had happened. And he hadn't, couldn't. But he'd tried to help her see it for herself, and she'd blown him off.

What if this was the werewolf thing all over again?

She took a step forward. "Alright, Severus," she said softly. Her eyes looked to him, and he turned back to her, relief on his face. "I believe you." She curled her fingers around her babe. "But what do we do about it?"

"Go into hiding," he answered quickly. His hands fell on hers – and yet... she didn't flinch away. Even as that Mark hung so near to her 'mudblood' boy. "I know of a charm – the Fidelius Charm. _But you must have someone you trust!_ That is urgent!"

He quickly described a spell that would take the knowledge of their hideout and entrust the information to a single person – that person, a Secret Keeper, would be the only person who could share the information, and thus keep the knowledge in as limited hands as possible.

"You can hide yourself," he said, "But you need to have the right person for it, or you'll be doomed."

His hands gathered up hers, and kissed them furvently. She could see tears in his eyes, and the sight of them worried her even more.

"Please... Just hide yourself," he said. "You, and your son. Your husband. Just... hide." His eyes searched hers, and they were shining in fear. "Please. If I lost you, I..."

He turned his head away, and she lifted a hand to his face.

"Severus..." He turned to look into her eyes.

She sighed. "I trust you. I do."

And then she turned away, looking to the collection of cauldrons around her. She clutched her babe, but looked at the other child that she was going to have to give up.

"I suppose that means... I'll have to close the shop," she said, moving to the side of one potion.

"I'm sorry, but it's for the best," he said. "You're too easy to find here."

She nodded. "Help me with something real quick?"

"Anything," he answered.

"Hand us that," she said, pointing to a small bottle on the opposite side from the cauldron.

He picked it up, and read the label. "Lily essence?"

She nodded. He passed her the bottle, and she measured out a dose. And put it into the cauldron, stirring it. She then turned to her book, and pulled out the unicorn horn.

He watched her, and his eyes widened.

"Is that...?"

She nodded, stirring counter-clockwise twice.

"All this time..." he whispered, awed. He looked up at her, love in his eyes. "Lilies."

Her smile was sad. "My secret ingredient."

Lilies. For Lily's Amortentia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Because a couple people have already commented. I originally had the plot for this story before the series was finished, and I had to edit enough as was after the book was done. For one, I had to change their relationship a bit, and I hope chapter 3 clarifies it a bit. For second, I'm playing a little fast and loose with the timeline. I imagine when Severus realised what was up, he asked the Dark Lord to spare Lily's life, but he quite honestly couldn't trust that the Dark Lord would care that much for a Mudblood witch – so he went to Dumbledore to protect them. Dumbledore requires him to work for the Order, from then on, and shortly after this promise is made, he visits Lily for this scene. So he's technically 'now employed' in the Order, even if he might not have done anything yet. In fact, in the original version, the Fidelius Charm was something of Severus' own creation, but I ended up leaving it out, making it instead an obscure piece of magick. In the books, he might not have known of the spell at the time (since it was Dumbledore's 'doing', so he might not have known what method of hiding they were using, which would make sense, giving him the benefit of the doubt, and less burdensome information – mind, even if he knew she knew of the charm, once it's put into place, he won't know anything anyway because of the magick) but for the sake of the story, Snape would have come to her in person one very last time – because he didn't trust Dumbledore to do it wrong. Mind, most of that is less the 'I don't trust you' (though I'm of the opinion you shouldn't trust Dumbledore more than you can throw him, since he's got his own agenda going on at any given time...) so much as a 'It's my Lily and I'm frakking paranoid that she is taken care of and hidden!' type deal.
> 
> To be honest, I liked keeping Remus' 'furry little problem' as a private issue that most people didn't know about, and that even Lily hadn't known of Remus' lycanthropy until after she'd been married, and a circumstance required her to know about it. She's in the position where she can't really confirm it to Severus, but she knows that he was right all along, and that makes her a bit more careful when tossing out his crazy theories – because even a broken clock is right twice a day. And when it comes to her child, she'd rather err on the side of caution, and treat the threat as real rather than ignore him and find out he was right again.


End file.
